The Real Reason You Can't Get Yourself To Talk To Her
Something like 90% of guys don't feel comfortable with starting a conversation with a woman they never met before, and I was also one of them.
I can still remember how it felt to see the girl of my dreams standing, waiting for me to walk over there and say ANYTHING...
But all I could do is just stand there with my heart in my throat, rehearsing the perfect line in my head for 27 times, and wait for the "perfect" moment to go there, until eventually some other dude started talking to her and took her away.
> “She’ll reject me”
> “I’ll look like a loser in front of her friends”
> “I’ll be humiliated and embarrassed”
That was all I could think about.
I still remember how it felt to be coming back home, feeling, “What’s wrong with me? What do other guys have that I don’t?”
Well one day I had it. It was one missed opportunity too much, and I decided to kick this AA in the nuts, get it off my back, and NEVER miss another opportunity to talk to a girl i like EVER.
I went into research mode. For something like 3 months I was on it. I read stupid too long books on psychology from what I now know people who were more crazy that the patients they were treating.
I researched online for stuff that would help me, but all I could find was "Say Hi to 5 girls a day" and "ask for directions".
I was like, WTF? That's the best you can give me?
Let me tell you, it wasn't easy, but eventually I discovered the key, and defeated my approach anxiety.
I have to be honest with you, I needed to do a lot of work on myself to get over it, but I don't think it was completely necessary.
Anyhow, let me fast forward to today.
The other day I was walking down the street, and I notice this girl. She has this smooth walk, like slightly unusual from the majority of girls.
We stop at the red light, and she's standing right next to me. So I say, "Hey, you know I couldn't help noticing your walk...it's so smooth that it's almost weird"
She looks at me, smiles and says, "Oh that's because I'm a dancer, we're suppose to do exercises like this..."
I say, "Really, a dancer? How cool. Are you an MJ type or a ballet dancer?"
She says, "No I do club dancing mostly"
I go, "So you're a stripper"
She cracks up: "Haha, no. It's the type of a dance where..."
And I kept this short conversation going.
Approaching girls now feels like tying my shoe.
And right now I want to share with you what were the KEY things I discovered about it - and help you get rid of this anxiety once and for good.
As I discovered, the key to getting rid of your fear of talking to women is in your head - or what goes on in it as you see that girl.
It All Starts In Your MIND
As I was trying to figure out how to get over myself, I realised my mind was standing in the way.
My MIND was giving me all those excuses not to approach the girl. It was my MIND that was coming up with the scary scenarios of her giving me the "weird" look, of her embarrassing me in front of everyone, and of other people judging me while I leave humiliated.
So here's what I discovered.
If you want to get rid of your fear, there are 3 areas you need to handle.
Let's start with your FOCUS
So let me ask you, right at the moment when you see her walking or standing, what do you focus on?
If you're anything like most guys, you probably focus on how great and gorgeous she is, and how unattractive and little you are compared to her.
You probably focus on how she has all the power and confidence, and how you basically have none.
In other words, where you put your focus in on who you are compared to her.
Well when I started talking with women, I heard them say stuff like, "I really like that guy, but I'm afraid of walking over there. If he rejected me, i'd just die."