When guys are starting out with getting good with women, they connect a lot of emotion to the idea of “failure” and “success”.
For most guys, failing means not getting a date or her number the first time they approach a girl.
And also, what they see as success is getting a number or a kiss close with the first girl they ever approach.
New guys set their standards so high that if anything else happens that doesn’t meet their standards - they feel emotionally destroyed.
Instead of intellectualising the conversation and trying to be too clever with the girl,
keep the conversation light, superficial and simple. Like this:
Guy: Hey, how’s it going?
Girl: Oh hey, I’m just doing some shopping.
Guy: That’s awesome. Looking for something special or just killing time?
Girl: Well my friend has a birthday so I’m shopping for a present.
Guy: That’s awesome. Last month my friend had his birthday, and I didn’t know what to get him. It’s always such a pain to choose the right gift. Do you know what you’ll get him?
Avoid deep debates and intellectualising in the beginning of the conversation, just stay on the surface level and keep the conversation light.
Once you get to know her better, then you can unload your intellectual abilities to her.
Or unload whatever. You totally got my joke here ;)
Want to learn more? Check out my free Beginners Guide To Approaching Women here.
That thing is...
makes her NOT want to be with you. In this article, I want to give you 8 ways as to how to make a girl like you and want to be around you. So let's get into it.
Be honest now, which one would you rather give a dollar?
There is just something that feels right about giving the dollar to the second one, who didn't show like he NEEDS it.
He wanted it, he asked for it, but he wasn't attached to it. And that's why you probably felt much more willing to give it to him, while you felt repulsed by the first one and wanted to run away.
And it's the same with women. Women can smell if a guy is needy from a mile away...and they feel repulsed by it.
If you show up needy with a girl, you basically kill any kind of chance of EVER hooking up with her.
And in this article, I want to explain to you what neediness is, the 2 causes of neediness and how you can eliminate them once and for all.
And on top of that, what you are going to say, right? I mean, you know how to make small talk but how to make her to actually want to keep talking to you?
It probably happened to you more than once that you saw a girl you really liked, but you were either to scared to walk up to her and approach her, or if you did go there - you turned into a nervous wuss bag.
I know it happened to me more times than I would like to admit, but let me show you exactly how you can deal with it so you’re more confident when approaching a woman in the future.
Right now I want to share with you these 4 steps, and lay out in front of you exactly how to meet women, so you can understand the simplicity behind it.
I call these 4 steps The Simple Approaching Steps.
specific personality traits that make a man attractive, no matter how his face looks.
If I saw a hot girl looking at me or even smile at me, I wouldn't know what to do. I'd get insecure, self conscious, and all I could think about were my insecurities and how she can see right through me.
In other words, I didn't BELIEVE in myself.
You see, when you don't believe in yourself, you wil only see your disadvantages, or perceived disadvantages, and you'll have this level of disrespect towards yourself that only you can give to yourself.
Well, let's fast forward to today. Just the other day, I went out to a night club and as I was standing in the hallway for the bathroom, I saw this really hot girl standing in line. She was quite tall, so I walked up to her and said, "Now that is rare...you have to have a hard time finding a guy for youself..."
I said this in a completely relaxed, as-a-matter-of-fact manner, without any complicated pick-up lines or great openers. I just observed something and said it.
We hit it off, playing, teasing and busting on each other.
Later I found that she's actually a model, and one of the most desirable girls in the club.
Now the question is, what changed?
What was different in me that now I could approach women this casually?
One thing - I CHANGED.
I simply started believing in myself.
I started believing that I HAD something in me that women like, and that I am no different than any other guy.
Believing in yourself means that at one point you stop allowing the world and the people to stick a finger in your face and tell you that you're no good, or not good enough.
It means that you acknowledge the fact that you are no different than anybody else, and that you deserve the best that there is in the world - be it best women, best education, best income, best lifestyle etc.
Anyone that ever achieved anything great in his life, first had to believe in himself - especialy when people around them were doubting them, ridiuculing them or downright opposing them.
One of my favorite examples is Muhammad Ali, the boxer.
Now here's a guy that came out as a 20 and something year old kid, and started telling everyone that he'll be the next world champion in boxing.
Now at that time, the heavyweight champion was Sony Liston, who was considered to be dangerous to kill. Literally no one ever gave Ali any chance of beating him.
They were talking about Sony Liston annihilating him in the first round.
But Ali kept his belief in himself, telling everyone "That ugly bear is nothing..."
When the fight eventually happened, to the surprise of everyone, Ali won the fight, and became the world champion, the youngest boxer ever to do so at that time.
And he was only 22.
Ali could have easily choked and start doubting himself with "Man maybe they are all right, what if I don't win...?"
But he didn't.
Another example is well known Tony Robbins, the strategist, coach and a speaker. I'm sure you know him because of his such strong influence in the self-improvement world.
Most people don't know that Tony Robbins was just a kid in his 20's when he first started coaching.
He was young, driven, ambitious and hungry of success. He wanted to make it, and even though people around him were telling him, "You're too young to be speaking and teaching people on how to succeed...", he didn't listen to them.
He made it as a speaker, as a coach and helped people around the world.
But he didn't stop just there.
He pushed himself more and eneded up coaching people like princess Diana, Bill Clinton, famous actors, athletes etc.
Now let's be honest here.
Most people would just flat out sh** themselves if they were put on the spotlight to help people like that.
But he didn't.
No, the dude had some cohones in his pants and went out and met these people.
Well for one, he probably didn't say to himself, "O, I couldn't do that...who am I, just a kid from the street to be meeting people like that..."
But he said to himself, "Well, why not me?"
Believing in yourself often times involves simply questioning the dogma or the status quo of "I could never do that..." into "Why not me?"
Derrick Rose, the NBA player said, "Why wouldn't I be the best player in the league...I see no reason why not me..."
I want to encourage you to stop saying to yourself, "Ahh, who am I to do this..." and start saying to yourself "Why not me?"
How do you start believing in yourself?
I have to say that this isn't an overnight process. It does take a bit of work, but if you do this one thing that I want to share with you, you will notice massive changes in how you feel.
So what is it?
Well it's simple - yet very effective. And the reason it's effective is because it's simple.
It's this simple question:
"If I believed 10% more in myself, I would..."
And now finish the sentecne with at least 6 to 10 answers.
What would you do differently, if you believed 10% more in yourself?
What is it for you?
I want you to be dilligent about this, and actually do this exercise every single day for the next 2 weeks.
When you do this exercise, you'll soon notice yourself doing the things - or not doing other things - that you write about.
It will work as a command to your brain, and change how you think, feel and behave.
You'll notice that with this simple exercise, you'll develop more and more belief in yourself.
Do this exercise immediately, don't put it off. And if you want, please share what you got in the coments section below.
It took me a long time before I figured the "confidence with women" out, and put everything into a system that guys can learn from. If you'd like to change your confidence with women, take advantage of my "Be Powerful" free strategy session here.
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40.007 years ago, because it's been 7 years since I've heard about this) we lived in the jungle in a pack of 150-200 people.
And in that pack, if you hit on the chief's or the main dude's wife, he and the rest of the guys in the group would get pissed and kick you out of the group - and you'd get eaten by lions - and you'd die.
And that's why you feel fear of women.
I discovered that there are basically only 3 universal ways you can start a conversation with ANY woman, and right now I want to share them with you.
you're not letting out on the surface.
And this whole attitude of going out and approaching women gives you a weird vibe of
"I don't have much to do, so I'm out here just trying to get a girl".
I suggest you do something else.
or not it is actually possible for you to get good with women.
You see, during your life, you've been taught a whole bunch of limiting beliefs about yourself - from what you "deserve", to how attractive you are, to which "league" of women you belong in etc.
These beliefs form your first BIG obstacle to having the kind of success with women you always wanted.
And right now I want to share with you exactly how you can overcome these powerful limiting beliefs that you need to deal with if you are to EVER have any kind of major success with women and dating.
But then one day I started thinking a bit about this idea of freedom. I thought about the connection between outside and inside world.
Then I stumbled uppon a book the 50th law.
In it there was a chapter about a boxer champion who was arrested for murder and later convicted to 3 consequtive life sentences.
In other words, we are BOYS...not MEN. So I thought about what makes a naturally attractive man...and I came up with this list of traits that I want you to read over...and see if you find yourself in some of them.
So who is a Naturally Attractive Man..?
A naturally attractive man is somebody who...
If you take the simplicity of this advice, and you recognize the wisdom behind what I'm about to tell you and you don't just read it and forget about it, then it will work.
Here it is.
Recently I was at this small restaurant, eating a sandwich, and as always, I observed what was going on around me.
As I was eating, this hot, dark haired girl comes in the restaurant, walks to the counter, orders and waits for her food to take away.
At this point, I start noticing what other guys are doing - and most of them are kind of quiet, eating their sandwich, but they are very aware that this hot girl is in here - and occasionally check her out.
And at that moment, I could feel this weird tension in the room. Like guys were in it together - like they agreed before she came to be quiet and just act cool - while craving for her.
It suddenly hit me that guys are in this weird state, a state of "I like her, but I don't have a chance in hell with her...but I can't help myself from feeling this strong attraction for her."
You know what I'm talking about right?
You had to have it happen - you would be somewhere, when this gorgeous woman would walk in the room and you could just feel the tension in the room.
It's like, the tension is so strong, that you could literally slice it like butter and put it on a piece of bread.
Well, I actually have a name for this state. It's called: "Hanging Dick"
What would you guess a girl on your left thinks of herself?
But that's not the whole story.
After going through some of the TED talks, I found this talk by a former super model Cameron Russell on how image isn't everything - and how she actually feels INSECURE inside.
She also says, that according to her experience, the hotter the model - the more insecure she is. I recommend you watch the talk all the way to the end.
One of the things that really stopped my success with women when I started with this "dating" game was, that I waited until I knew everything and THEN I could start approaching and talking to girls.
It had to be perfect for me.
I had to know ALL the lines, routines, what to say, how to say when to say it etc. I wanted to know EVERYTHING.
Well this me wanting to know everything was actually stopping me BIG time when it came to actually having any kind of success with women.
Let's stop for a second and let's think of this sequence.
So this model is pretty easy. It's something ANY guy can learn.
But what happens is we guys take this model and than we say:
"I need to find out every possible detail of every single part. I need to know how exactly do I hold her hand, how strong, and which part.."
This thinking has WRONG written all over the place
WRONG WRONG WRONG
So what is right?
Let's move to the best advice I've ever received about pick up.
STAY IN SEQUENCE.
What does that mean?
It means this. There are a few different stages from a beginner to a master. Stages that if you try to jump the sequence too fast will cost you in PARALYSIS.
These are the stages:
Hey I'm Omir, the guy behind VC, the author of The Natural's Way book, and here to help you liberate yourself from your fears, limitations and insecurities, so you can become amazingly confident with women.
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